


We’ll See

by SwissCheesePlant



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, Canonical Character Death, Cunnilingus, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Masturbation, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Reylo - Freeform, Smut, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:27:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24483508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwissCheesePlant/pseuds/SwissCheesePlant
Summary: “We had a tacit agreement, Rey. We wouldn’t use our bond to advance our own causes.”“Which you broke when you used it to find the resistance.”“Not the resistance, just you.”Rey was breathing heavily. He’d betrayed her first and she was determined not to let her indignation waver even under his piercing gaze.Their bond was alive and humming and she could feel anger and want pushing and pulling between them like waves in the ocean._____The Kylo Ren and Rey relationship, explored largely through force bonds. Set after the events of The Last Jedi and finishing post-war, while mostly ignoring The Rise of Skywalker.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 11
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

Kylo Ren was in an awful mood. On a normal day he hardly had a reputation for cheerfulness but today his disposition was especially foul.

He had known for a long time Snoke was manipulating him and he would eventually need to kill him. A Sith killing his master was hardly an unprecedented turn of events, but even knowing it was inevitable Kylo hadn’t been in a hurry to do it. The role of student was a pleasantly familiar one. Part of him feared that without Snoke his skill wielding the force would stagnate and he was not yet as powerful as he needed to be.

That hesitation aside, he wanted to be Supreme Leader and make every decision himself and answer to no one. Now he had achieved that objective, so why wasn’t he satisfied?

He knew why. _Her_.

After years of striving to rule the galaxy it was finally his yet, ridiculously, he tried to dilute his own power by asking her join him at his side. Taking an apprentice was logical, but Rey was hardly suited for that role. Her command of the force had overcome his own on several occasions, not to mention her stubbornness would make her impossible to teach. Why did he want this? And how dare she refuse him?

He felt his anger building. He was supposed to be listening to his high council, they were giving him important updates on the latest planet the First Order had conquered. He reached his limit and stood up abruptly. He ordered Hux to take over before he stormed out of the room. At least he didn’t force-choke anyone. He was proud of his self-restraint.

As soon as he entered his quarters, he felt it happening again. It was as if he were standing ankle deep in the ocean when the water pulled back, sinking him deeper in the sand and pulling him marginally forward. He felt her presence, could almost smell her scent, before he saw her. 

“Rey.”

Her eyes flicked up. She had a screwdriver in her left hand. She had probably been repairing one of the Resistance’s few remaining ships, though he couldn’t see her surroundings to confirm. She looked surprised, almost pleasantly so at first, then her eyes narrowed.

“Ben.”

His eyes bore into hers. The anger he had been feeling moments ago was dampened by his pleasure to see her. Which didn’t make sense. He had been angry because of her, seeing her should only fuel his rage. But that was rarely how it worked with Rey.

“How’s the Supreme Leading treating you?” she asked with mocking lightness.

“Well, thank you.”

“Happy to hear it.” She returned her attention to whatever she was repairing.

He hadn’t seen her since they fought together after he’d killed Snoke. He was pleased their connection hadn’t died with his master. He remembered feeling her emotions so strongly that day. Her joy when she'd thought he’d turned to the light side and her grief when she’d realized he hadn’t. Her emotions were much more guarded today.

“What are you working on?”

“This ship lost communication with the rest of the fleet during the battle… I think I may need to rewire the entire communication circuit,” she said distractedly.

Kylo watched her with curiosity. She wasn’t yelling at him or giving him her light-side-of-the-force sales pitch. She usually took advantage of these force bonds to do one or the other.

“Have you checked the bypass capacitator?”

She rolled her eyes and reached awkwardly towards something on her right. She flicked open a small latched door that he could now make out the outline of. She scowled at what he assumed was the bypass capacitator and then shifted her body closer to it.

“I was correct,” Kylo stated, watching her expressive face attempt to hide her fury at this fact.

It was the force that initiated these bonds. When the force dissolved the connection, it did so slowly. Rey would fizzle out as his surroundings reclaimed the space she’d occupied. He had never been able to initiate the bond at will though he suspected he could block a connection with enough focus. It would be like closing a door. He’d never tried.

When she disappeared, the abruptness of her withdrawal told him Rey had slammed the door shut.

*****

Rey returned to her room after a day of intense training. She’d run the training course 4 times, a new single day record. Even BB-8, who did not experience human tiredness, declined to join her for the last run. She was exhausted.

On Ajan-Kloss, there were some temporary barracks erected to house what was left of the Resistance. But when it was possible, Rey preferred to sleep on the Millennium Falcon. It was an irrational choice since the cots in the Resistance’s barracks were not nearly as lumpy as the ones on the Falcon. But it didn’t matter. The ship felt more like home to her than Jakku ever did. 

Rey was lucky, the Falcon had returned from its latest mission last week and the major repairs were complete. She washed off all the sweat and dirt from her training in the Wookie-sized shower. After patting herself dry with a towel, she strolled confidently to the sleeping quarters without putting anything on her damp body. The privacy of the ship was another feature she appreciated. She couldn’t sleep naked in the barracks so gleefully took advantage of the opportunity.

She expected to fall asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. Instead, her eyes popped open stubbornly. She tossed and turned as her mind dwelled on the day’s biggest failure. She had tried to communicate with Luke’s spirit but nothing came of it. 

_Maybe I’m not a true Jedi,_ she mused.

She remembered the way Luke looked at her that day on Ahch-To when he first agreed to train her. She had gone towards the darkness and it had horrified him. Maybe she really did belong in the darkness lurking beneath that island.

Thinking about the dark side inevitably led to thinking about Kylo Ren. She felt frustrated she couldn’t connect with Luke, or any of the Jedi who could actually help her, but Kylo Ren would just pop into her life every few days to condescendingly tell her how to fix _her_ ship. And he wasn’t even helpful because she would have figured out it was the bypass capacitator eventually.

She thought about the last time she’d seen him in person. She remembered his face against the red backdrop of the throne room with flames licking up the sides of the curtains as he asked her to join him. The image felt so on the nose she wondered if she was exaggerating it in her memory. Kylo Ren: the paradigm of evil.

But then she remembered his last word to her. _Please_. The way he’d said it. Just the memory of the softness in his voice caused a shiver down her spine. 

She was now even more alert than when she’d first laid down. She needed to turn off her brain. 

_Don’t think about him_ , she commanded herself as she slid her hand between her thighs, _Think about anyone else_.

She focused on an image of Poe but it dissipated quickly. She tried to think about Finn with similar results. She even thought of the two of them together, which held her interest a little longer, but the titillation passed and she was left thinking about what she really wanted.

Her imagination conjured Kylo’s hand, reaching out to her like it did in her hut on Ahch-To through the force bond. She felt a wave of self-loathing for her lack of mental discipline but let it go quickly so she could enjoy her fantasy. She found his hands so attractive. They were large and callused from years of training. She imagined one of his hands was large enough to hold both of her wrists. She pictured him doing just that, pulling her wrists above her head with his left hand and kissing her deeply while his right hand caressed her hip. She imagined his hand was the one between her thighs now.

Rey’s eyes were closed. She was breathing heavily, her middle and ring fingers massaging the sides of her clit. Her other hand was on her breast, rolling her nipple between her thumb and forefinger. Her hips undulated with increasing speed. At the peripherals of her senses there was a familiar tug, a buzzing energy. It was just her arousal, she rationalized, not wanting to stop her attentions when she was so close. She ignored it for a few seconds more, before the realization collided with her. She stopped abruptly and pulled the sheet up to cover her exposed chest before opening her eyes.

“Please don’t stop on my account.”

The voice had an uncharacteristic huskiness to it, but she recognized it anyway. She turned her head to meet the eyes of the man she’d been unable to keep from her thoughts.

He was sitting in black desk chair with a high back but she couldn’t see anything else related to his surroundings. He wore his usual all back uniform and was facing her, his legs spread, leaning towards her with his elbows on his knees. His fingers were interlocked tightly and his knuckles were white. His eyes were staring at her with such intensity she thought they might burn her skin.

She breathed heavily as humiliation washed over her. He’d seen her. He’d seen her breasts heaving as she touched herself. Had he known she was thinking of him? She racked her memory, had she moaned his name? How long had he been there? Thankfully the sheet had covered her lower half.

Her embarrassment was quickly overcome by anger. How dare he not avert his eyes or alert her to his presence? How dare he sit there now, unrepentant, looking at her with that heated expression?

“What are you doing here?” she hissed, injecting as much venom as possible into every syllable.

“The force opened this connection, not me.”

“And how long did the force compel you to sit there silently watching me?”

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards. “What were you thinking about?”

“Fuck you.”

He huffed in amusement then slid his eyes down across her body. She felt suddenly aware of the thinness of the sheet and how it was clinging to her body.

Rey knew she could snuff out the connection if she focused enough. But she was too angry and aroused to control anything. 

“Break the connection, Ren. I want you to leave.”

“Why don’t you do it?”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. You’ve done it before.”

She glared at him.

“Are you having trouble focusing?” He laughed softly as he turned his chair around.

The buzzing stopped and he was gone.

Rey blinked. She hadn’t actually expected him to leave.

*****

There was a thud as Kylo Ren hit the floor. He had just gotten the wind knocked out of him by one of his knights for the second time today. Normally, such an occurrence during one of their sparring sessions would result in Kylo’s fury. But today he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Rey had been a frequent presence in his thoughts since the day he took her prisoner and she forced herself into his mind. But it was different now. She was no longer merely a pull at the fringes of his awareness but an insistent presence at the forefront of his mind.

He dismissed the knight he was training with and returned to his quarters to shower.

He couldn’t believe the force had bonded them when she was masturbating. The memory should’ve been an amusing one but instead it left him with his mouth dry and heart pounding.

He thought of Rey when he woke up every morning. He had to actively push away thoughts of her throughout the day. They were disruptive, heady thoughts.

He remembered sitting in his chair, immobile, watching her writhing in her bed. Her eyes closed, biting her lower lip, breathing heavily. He could smell her arousal. He had memorized the swell of her breast and the way she was pinching her erect nipple.

If he didn’t suppress this train of thought, he would imagine her discovering him. Instead of being embarrassed her eyes would glint with excitement. She would ask him to help her. _Please_. She would beg him to touch her.

During the day, he was disciplined. He quelled his desire and distracted himself with his work. Once he retired to his quarters each night, he wasn’t so temperate.

Fortunately for him, their next force bond did not occur as he was lying in bed, his mind too weak from a day of self-restraint to curb his erotic thoughts of her. Instead, she appeared before him the following day while he was reading a report.

Rey was sparring with someone. Her dirt-stained clothes clung to her sweaty body and her brow was furrowed in concentration.

Kylo was on her left, in her periphery, but he could tell she noticed him immediately by the way she faltered mid-punch. The mistake cost her and he saw an outline of a man dodge the punch and grab the extended arm to pull her forward. When the hand had made contact with her arm, Kylo could see it clearly. Rey turned her fall into a roll and quickly regained her footing.

He saw her hesitate a moment and knew she was debating if she should ignore Kylo’s presence or actively try to block him out.

“C’mon, Rey! Focus.”

Kylo recognized the voice of her partner as Poe Dameron.

Rey returned her focus to the fight. She lunged forward only to be blocked. She ducked away from another blow before she swung her leg out in an unsuccessful attempt to swipe Dameron off his feet.

Kylo watched Rey fight in fascination. He had fought against her and with her, but never had this opportunity to watch her so closely. It was clear she was not using the force, with which she would have overtaken Dameron easily, and that at hand-to-hand combat Dameron was her superior.

“You’re taking too long between blows. It makes it easier for him to anticipate your move.” Kylo observed. 

Rey scowled but he noticed she took his advice. She got in a couple blows before Dameron managed to duck behind her and grab her arm. He wrenched Rey towards him and trapped her in his arms, her back flush to his chest.

Their full body contact enabled Kylo to see Dameron fully. He was smiling, happy to have caught her. A little too happy if you asked Kylo. Rey tried to wriggle free before she paused a moment. She looked up at Kylo and met his eyes for the first time.

“Break free, Rey,” Kylo commanded, his voice low.

Her eyes narrowed at the demand, then she smirked. She grabbed Poe’s hands where they were joined around her sternum and lifted her arms while pushing her hips back. She slid out the side of his grip and managed to flip him forwards.

She then proceeded to pin him to the ground.

She smiled mischievously down at Poe while he tried to overturn her.

“Rey, I know I can get out of this. You’re cheating,” Poe panted after several unsuccessful attempts to flip her.

“I know. I just need a quick break from men trying to assert their dominance over me.” Rey teased, her eyes flashing up to meet Kylo’s.

“I’m helping you!” Poe practically whined.

Rey used the force to keep Poe pinned down until she’d gotten up and brushed herself off. When she released him he stood, shaking his head.

“You’re going to pay for that,” he said, resuming a sparring stance. 

The connection fizzled out. Kylo continued staring at the spot she had just stood for several moments. 

*****

Rey was back on Ahch-To, though she didn’t recognize where exactly on the island she found herself. The familiar stone paths and huts were not visible as she walked purposefully through grass and dirt. It began to rain and she broke into a run towards a steep hill with a large rock jutting out at its crest. Upon reaching the shelter of the rock, she noticed something embedded in the hillside. It was a dark wooden door with a small stained-glass window at its center.

 _Impossible_ , she thought as she opened it.

She stepped into a small room that appeared to have been carved out of side of the ridge. The delicious scent of wet dirt and grass filled her nostrils. She couldn’t see where the room ended at first, the only light came from the small plate of glass in the door. She walked slowly forward and more light began to fill the space. She could now see the opposite wall where a window manifested out of nothing, allowing a ray of sunlight. She could see the ocean through the glass.

 _I’m dreaming,_ she thought.

Suddenly she felt his presence. He was standing in the shadows to her left, watching her.

She didn’t have her lightsaber. She considered punching him or calling him a murderous snake again. But these ideas evaporated as soon as they occurred to her and she simply looked at him.

“Where are we, Rey?”

She approached him. He wore all black, as was typical, but his feet and hands were bare. His clothes seemed different from his usual uniform, softer. She reached out and ran her fingers down his chest to confirm her suspicion.

 _Soft_.

She left her hand rested on his chest and felt the rise and fall of it quicken almost imperceptibly.

The cold sea air coming in through the window chilled her so she stepped closer into his warmth.

 _Is this figment of my imagination Kylo Ren or Ben Solo?_ she wondered.

She hated Kylo. She knew that logically. But standing this close she couldn’t muster up the feeling. His smell was dizzying. Maybe this was Ben. 

She raised herself onto her tiptoes to reach his lips. He was still for several moments, as if he didn’t want to make any sudden movements and frighten her away. Then his arm wrapped around her lower back and he lifted her up, kissing her back forcefully. 

He moved his hands under her thighs and rotated to press her against the dirt wall. She squirmed eagerly against him as his tongue slid into her mouth. Her fingers dived into his hair, something she had thought about doing many times before. When she felt like she could barely breathe, she yanked his hair and he pulled back just enough that she could take a few gasping breaths.

He moved his mouth to her neck and slid his left hand under her ass while his right moved down her body, his thumb brushing her nipple through her shirt as he went. Finally it reached the apex of her thighs. He lightly grazed her with the knuckles of his index and middle finger and she gasped under the touch.

He rubbed his thumb delicately over her mound and she quivered. She was so aroused that even through her clothes his light touch was bringing her to the brink of orgasm. He continued rubbing her, increasing the pressure exactly when she needed him to. Within seconds she was convulsing, her climax ripping through her as she clung to his shoulders.

Rey awoke with a start. She was covered in sweat and the aftermath of her orgasm was still surging through her.

It took several minutes for her breath to slow and for her eyes to sink closed again.

 _It was just a dream,_ she thought, her relief mingling with inexplicable disappointment.


	2. Chapter 2

The situation was becoming untenable. As if near daily force bonds weren’t already enough of a disruption, now it seemed Kylo would have to endure graphic dreams like the one he’d had the night before. This was the second night in a row he’d dreamt of kissing Rey and bringing her to climax with the touch of his hand. The memory of the taste of her lips was impossible to clear from his mind the next day.

He sensed he needed to see her in person to get this all to stop.

He ordered Hux to make finding the Resistance his top priority. His general was frustrated by the order. After all, the Resistance was mostly destroyed, there was no reason to expend resources hunting down such an unformidable enemy. 

Kylo didn’t explain his reasons, he never did.

Moments later, he felt the familiar tugging on his consciousness pulling his focus somewhere far off.

Her eyes were closed in meditation. She was hovering over the ground, legs crossed. He could tell when she felt his presence because she tilted slightly to her right and had to straighten herself out.

Kylo focused. He was determined to get some clue to her surroundings. He could see faint outlines of lush foliage around her. She had to be outside and based off her clothing it was warm. 

“Rey.”

Rey huffed before opening her eyes. She fixed him with a glare before lowering herself back to the ground.

“I thought we had an understanding that if this keeps happening every day we weren’t going interrupt each other.”

He ignored her. “Are you having dreams like I am?”

She flushed and averted her eyes before her lips could form the lie.

“I don’t know what – “

“You are. And based off your expression they’re of the same nature as mine.” He took a step forward. “Fascinating.”

She took a step back, stepping on a plant that then solidified from Kylo’s vantage point.

“I had wondered if I were interacting with you. Not just my mind’s projection of you,” he said.

“They’re just dreams...” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as him.

“They’re happening every night. I see you every day now. The force is telling us something.”

She met his eyes.

“Tell me where you are, Rey.”

“No.”

He took another step towards her. “These connections won’t stop if we don’t meet… Unless, maybe you don’t want them to stop?”

She flushed again. “I’m not going to give you the Resistance’s location.”

“I’ve picked the wrong strategy, I see. You certainly seem to enjoy the dreams. If I can see you in person, I promise we can recreate them.”

“It’s not going to happen, Ren.”

He was inches away from her now. He brought his fingers to the side of her face and touched her. She held his gaze. Her eyes were sharp and defiant but her breath quickened.

His eyes dropped to her lips then back up. He leaned in closer and for an alarming moment thought she would pull away, but then her eyes closed.

He used the force to rip up the leaf that had been touching Rey’s foot. He was going to pull away then, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He brought his lips to hers and felt a surge of electricity slice through him. His left hand gripped the nape of her neck and pulled her closer. He felt overwhelmed by his need for her.

He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to let this feeling to overtake him, but as the fingers of his right hand curled into a fist, the waxy texture of the leaf crumpling in his palm reminded him why he kissed her in the first place. It was his key to finding her.

He ended the connection before she opened her eyes and realized what he’d taken.

*****

Rey sensed his presence as soon as his ship entered the planet’s atmosphere. She had been training about a mile from the base. Without hesitation she broke out in a run towards where she knew Leia would be.

Back at the base, Leia was already organizing an evacuation. Before Rey could speak Leia nodded.

“I sense him, too.”

“I need to get out of here, he’s trying to find me.”

Leia gave her a curious look but didn’t demand an explanation. “I’m programming the coordinates for our rendezvous point in all the ships now, you can take the Falcon.”

“No,” Rey said, the word physically paining her. “I can’t come with you. I can’t know where you’re going, the information isn’t safe with me.”

Leia looked searchingly into her eyes. “What do you plan to do, then?”

“I’ll draw him away from the rest of the Resistance. I don’t know what he wants but I know I’m the one he’s looking for.”

Leia thought for a moment then called Finn over to them.

“With Snoke dead and Kylo off the Supremacy we have a rare opportunity to breach the capital fleet undetected. Finn, are you up for a covert operation?”

“Yes, General.”

“Good. Here’s the plan.”

*****

It was upon Kylo’s approach of Ajan-Kloss that he started to doubt his course of action.

The lab on the Supremacy was able to identify the plant and its planet of origin in less than an hour. Kylo had already given the order to prepare his ship and thus was able to depart as soon as he knew where he was headed.

He had not brought an army with him to obliterate what was left of the Resistance now that he knew the general location of their base. With his ship on autopilot and his mind clear, doubt began to creep in. That decision hadn’t been rational.

He wasn’t even sure what he wanted when he finally came face-to-face with Rey. He believed the force wanted them to come together on the same side and he intended to try to turn her. But he didn’t have a new plan to accomplish this. 

Over the last few weeks, he had felt her joy in small moments such as when it rained. He had witnessed firsthand her commitment to her training fueled by her desperate desire to contribute to her cause. But he didn’t have any new information that would help him turn her.

If he couldn’t turn her, what would he do? Killing her was the logical choice. Kylo pushed the thought from his mind, not wanting to admit to himself he would never be able to do it, and refocused on the task at hand.

He knew the plant grew in the southern hemisphere of the planet, where the rainforests were. The potential area would take months for him alone to scour. Kylo wasn’t concerned, however. The force would guide him. The force was mysterious in many ways, but it had made its desire for him and Rey to be connected abundantly clear.

He sensed her moving north. He suspected she’d felt his presence and was separating herself from the rest of the Resistance.

He allowed the force to guide him as he landed in a clearing next to a wide river.

Her ship, a small starfighter, landed at the other end of the clearing several minutes later.

He waited until she descended from the cockpit before he walked towards her. She observed him, motionless, her lightsaber drawn but not lit.

He stopped a couple feet away from her, his saber still holstered. Her expression was wary. He sensed her concern for her friends.

“I came here alone.”

She nodded. He felt her relief.

“How did you find me?” she asked.

“I took a piece of a plant you were standing on the last time we connected. The First Order’s science department was able to identify it as endemic to this planet.”

He watched as understanding hit her. She took a steadying breath but her eyes were alight with ire. “Why did you come here?”

“I have a theory why the force keeps connecting us.”

She glared in response.

“It wants us to join forces. That’s why it gave us each a vision of the other one turning. It needs us to be united,” he said.

“So, you’ve come here to join the Resistance?” she asked with a smirk.

“No. I came here to convince you to join me.”

Rey's shoulders dropped as she sighed. “I’m not going to turn, Ben. Given our connection, I would think this is obvious to you.”

She looked off into the distance where the jungle started, deep in thought. Then she met his eyes.

“If you knew for certain I would never turn to the dark side, would you yourself turn?”

 _No, I would have to kill you,_ he thought bitterly.

She seemed to take his hesitation as affirmation and took a step forward.

“What if I let you in? You can enter my mind like you did before, when you took me prisoner. I won’t resist this time. You can search my mind for any indication I might turn.”

He was tempted. “Is there a catch?”

“Once you’ve searched my mind, you’ll let me search yours. And we’ll both know where the other stands.”

“Alright.”

Rey looked around briefly then took a few steps away from her ship, into the sunlight. She lowered herself to the ground and crossed her legs. He mirrored her actions, their knees inches apart.

“Are you ready?” 

“Before you start,” Rey’s voice trembled, “the goal here is to search for conflict within me. For you to gauge the likelihood I’ll to turn to darkness. Not to just have free access to all my thoughts and memories. I’m trusting you not to take advantage of the situation.”

Kylo nodded. She held his gaze for a moment before she also nodded.

He raised his fingertips to her temple, not quite touching it. He lowered his eyes and penetrated her mind.

Her thoughts swirled around him. Recent memories were closest to the surface and easiest to see. He seized the closest one. Rey was eating dinner with Finn and he was telling a story she found hilarious. He let that memory go and focused on another. She was talking to his mother. Leia was giving advice and Kylo could feel Rey’s deep respect for her. He found another memory, Luke’s death. How she had felt it, how much it had hurt her. Another one, their kiss the other day. He didn’t intend to move on from that one so quickly but he heard her thoughts intercede sharply.

_Not that one._

He released the memory and watched it bury itself down below the other memories.

Unlike the last time he’d done this, she wasn’t actively trying to push him out. But she was burying thoughts she didn’t want him to have access to. She didn’t want him to know how she felt when he’d kissed her. He felt her doing the same with some other memories. He was tempted delve deeper and find them, but he remembered their agreement. He retreated and found a more innocuous memory.

All of her thoughts glowed with the warmth of the light side. He caught bits of darkness, particularly in memories where those she loved were in danger. Her need to protect them went beyond selflessness.

He latched onto one more memory where he was present. It was the throne room, after they fought together. He was asking her to join him. He felt her desire to take his hand, but he there was no conflict in her. Her desire was for something that wasn’t being offered. She wanted to take Ben’s hand, not Kylo’s.

He withdrew.

“Are you ready for me?” Rey asked. She shifted her weight and avoided his gaze apparently unwilling to discuss what he’d seen.

“Yes.”

When Rey entered his mind, he had to resist the urge to push her out. Instead of grabbing for recent memories, she reached further back to before he’d met her. It was the day he’d found Poe Dameron and destroyed the village that had been harboring him. The memory was dripping with dark force energy.

She released it and he could sense her sifting through his mind for a specific memory. She found it, the same day he had pulled from her own mind, the day he killed Snoke. She focused on their moment together in the elevator, before he betrayed his master. The conflict within him was apparent in the memory. Dark and light force energy intermingled, but the dark was more dominant.

She then dove deeper, finding a memory from his childhood. His mother was lecturing him on the importance of eating his vegetables, he was maybe 7 years old. The memory was mostly light, but there was a small speck of dark.

She pulled out of that memory. He could sense her aim as she went searching specifically for the darkest memory she could find. She found something, but it wasn’t a memory or a passing thought. It was just a dark recess of his mind. It looked like a tumor.

She withdrew from it and went searching for one more memory. Her intention gradually became clear as she rifled through his mind. She wanted a memory of him programing the code for the emergency response system in the Supremacy.

He was confused for a moment then right before she located the memory he realized what she was doing. Anger filled him as he forced her out of his mind.

*****

Rey had already had her hand on her lightsaber when she entered Kylo Ren’s mind, so she was prepared to block his blow when he realized what she was trying to do.

She was surprised she got as close as she did. She’d expected he’d see her intention when he was exploring her mind. It had been a risk to let him go first, but she had wanted him to let his guard down. Once he'd demonstrated he’d respect her desire to conceal certain memories, she'd buried her true motive in with those.

She had gotten so close but had failed to get the code Finn needed to activate the Supremacy’s intruder alert system. According to their mole in the First Order, it would automatically lock down every section of the ship and give Finn the ability to release sleeping gas into each section. The system was capable of gassing up to 95% of the ship. 

Fortunately, Finn was under strict orders from Leia not to attempt to board the Supremacy until Rey reported back to him with the code. Her failure wasn’t putting him in danger. Still, this was an opportunity she didn’t want to squander.

They were both still seated, their lightsabers crossed between them. Rey’s stomach muscles clenched as she pressed against his saber. He was stronger and pushing her blade closer, his face is inches from hers. His anger radiated through her as if it were her own.

His proximity and the scent of him reminded her of a dream from a few nights ago. It was a ludicrous time to be thinking of such things, but the memory of his consuming kiss came to her anyway. 

Something disrupted Kylo’s focus and she was able to push their sabers back marginally. Rey realized the memory she had invoked had transferred to him across the bond. She took advantage of his momentary distraction and swung her leg out to kick him in the chest.

She leapt to her feet and charged at him.

He rolled out of the way and stood. His saber singed the tall grass behind him as he spun it in one hand.

Their blades collided twice before she tried her strategy again. She didn’t reach for a past dream, instead imagining they were on her cot in the Falcon and she was undoing his belt.

He was mid-swing when the thought connected with him across the bond and again, he wavered.

She advanced.

He was off-balance and lost ground. The river was only inches from his heels and her saber pressed against his.

A scene popped into her mind, his mouth at the apex of her thighs, kissing her there. The image was not her own. As shock and lust clouded her vision, Kylo spun to her left, grabbing her harm and twisting it so she dropped her lightsaber.

He used one hand to keep her arm pinned behind her as the other arm snaked around her waist and gripped her tightly to him. His breath was heavy near her ear.

“You’re not fighting fair.” His lips brushed against the side of her neck as he spoke.

“You caught on fast enough,” she said.

He kept her arm pinned as he led her back to his ship, thoughts of what he planned to do to her there fogging up her mind. She could have used the force to overpower him but she didn’t. She couldn’t determine if it was because his thoughts disrupted her focus or if her own desire had removed the motivation.

On board, he led her to the sleeping area. It was compact since this ship is not meant for long-term travel, but the bed is larger than her cot on the Falcon. The sheets are dark gray like the rest of the interior and she tried not to let her eyes linger on them.

Kylo released her arm and turned her around sharply to face him.

“We had a tacit agreement, Rey. We wouldn’t use our bond to advance our own causes.”

“Which you broke when you used it to find the resistance.”

“Not the resistance, just you.”

Rey was breathing heavily. He’d betrayed her first and she was determined not to let her indignation waver even under his piercing gaze.

Their bond was alive and humming and she could feel anger and want pushing and pulling between them like waves in the ocean.

She succumbed as soon as his mouth connected with hers. She still hated him fiercely, but her body was too desperate for his touch to fight him.

Her fingers tangled in his hair and he pressed her backwards until they reached the bed.

Kissing him in person was different from when they’d done it through the bond or in their shared dreams. His thoughts were so sharp and clear she could hardly distinguish them from her own.

She sensed his anger. He wanted to punish her. Images flooded her mind, him bending her over his knee and slapping her ass. Him bringing her to the brink of orgasm then pulling away and forcing her to take his cock in her mouth instead.

She broke from his kiss and gasped at these thoughts, her own anger growing,

Kylo grabbed behind her knees to knock her off balance and she fell to the bed. He followed, his arms on either side of her, caging her in.

“Don’t you even think about doing those things to me,” she hissed.

“None of them?” he asked, something roguish flashing in his eyes as he kissed her again, her mouth opening and tilting up traitorously to allow his tongue better access.

He pressed the memory that had caused her to falter when they were fighting across their bond: his head between her legs, her writhing in pleasure.

He broke their kiss and sat back on his heels, reaching for her boots. He made quick work of removing them while she tried to calm herself and block out some of his more flustering thoughts so she could focus. She needed to be able to yield the force in case he actually planned to administer any of those punishments.

Kylo slid back over her body and took her jaw in his hand so she met his eyes.

“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, Rey.”

She hated that even if she couldn’t have sensed his earnestness through the bond, she would have trusted him.

His hand moved down the column of her neck, tracing her collarbone and down the side of her breast, causing her to shiver. It stopped when he reached the clasp on her belt.

“Do you want this?” he asked, his voice low.

 _Yes,_ she thought, knowing he could hear it.

“Say it.”

“I hate you,” she said with a conviction at odds with her squirming hips.

He smirked. “If you keep this up, I’ll make you beg.”

“…I want this,” she said, seething.

He unbuckled her belt and slid it out from under her. He rolled her shirt up enough to expose her stomach and started kissing her there. When his tongue dipped into her navel, Rey’s hips jerked upwards.

He pulled the waistband of her pants down just enough to expose her hipbones and nipped one of them with his teeth. His large hand rested on her thigh, his thumb stroking her so close to her sex she could feel its heat.

“What do you want exactly?”

 _I’m going to kill you,_ she thought.

She squirmed closer, aching for him to touch her there but he used his other hand to hold her hips still.

“Tell me,” he said.

“I want you to make me come!”

In two fluid motions he’d pulled her shirt over her head and her pants and underwear off. She lay naked underneath him. She reached to untuck his shirt but he pinned her wrists over her head. He kissed her feverishly while his thumb slid over her slit. Her hips rose towards the contact.

His lips moved down her chest and wrapped around her nipple and a small gasp escaped her.

He released her wrists so he could move further down her body.

“Keep them there,” he said, “or I’ll tie you up.”

The thought excited her, in no small part because she liked the plausible deniability it offered. If she were restrained, she could pretend this was all against her will.

But she didn’t want the weight of his body to leave her, so she obeyed.

“Good girl.”

Incensed, she opened her mouth to tell him off but at that moment his tongue rolled up the length of her sex and a surprised gasp replaced her retort.

His tongue circled her clit and she tried to grind her hips closer, but his had his arm around her hips in a vice-like grip.

She felt her orgasm building slowly and desperately wanted more pressure. A whine escaped her throat despite her best efforts to suppress it. 

He lifted his head, replacing his tongue with his thumb as he regarded her.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want – more. Make me come”

“You know what you have to do, then,” he murmured, returning his mouth to the apex of her labia with too little pressure.

He wanted her to beg. _Fuck you,_ she thought instead.

She felt him smirk against her. He swirled his tongue with agonizing restraint, occasionally pulling it down to dip into her entrance, a very pleasurable motion but not what she needed to come.

She made futile efforts to press her hips forward. Pathetic sounding mewls were slipping from her lips. She felt delirious. 

Finally, her pride was overwhelmed by her need. “Please, Ren. Please make me come.”

His lips encased her clit and he sucked.

Everything went white and she’s pretty sure she wailed but she couldn’t bring herself to care. He kept his mouth on her while she convulsed, pleasure reverberating in her bones. 

When her body began to still again, his tongue went back to circling her clit and she moaned. She was sensitive and almost told him to stop but then it was good again and she was back climbing towards another orgasm. He didn’t tease her this time, sucking on her clit hard right when she needed it.

It took a long time for the waves of pleasure to stop undulating through her. When she could she opened her eyes. Kylo stood and began undressing himself. She watched, enraptured, her breath quickening even though the rest of her body felt like it was filled with sand.

He wiped his glistening mouth on his shirt as he removed it but she could still taste herself on his lips when he resumed kissing her.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, dropping them from above her head for the first time. He slid a finger inside her and she moaned into his mouth. He added another, pulsating them within her.

She felt needy again. Her hips pressing into his hand at the rhythm he set. His erection pressed against her thigh, compounding her delirium.

“Oh, Ren, please,” she moaned.

He retracted his fingers and centered himself between her legs.

“Is this what you want?” He wasn’t teasing her this time.

“Yes,” she breathed.

He slid into her slowly, giving her time to adjust to the intrusion. She gasped and dug her nails into his shoulders. He remained still until her need for friction overtook the discomfort and she began to move her hips.

He set a steady rhythm and soon she was desperate for more. Without hesitation she begged him to go harder.

He let out a low groan at her pleas and she felt his control slipping.

He grabbed the back of her knee and pressed her leg towards her chest. The shift allowed him to penetrate her more deeply and he quickened the pace pressing deep into the core of her.

She came again, clinging to his shoulders as if she were in danger of falling. He followed shortly after her, the pulsing of his cock inside her stimulating her already sensitized nerves. 

He rolled to her side and pulled her close to him. She was summoning the resolve to roll away before sleep overtook her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you’ll see in this chapter, I take the pieces I like from TROS and leave out the pieces I don’t. For clarity, since I do take a lot from TROS, in my AU: Rey is not Palpatine’s daughter; Exegol cannot only be found with “Sith Way Finder” McGuffin (eye-roll); and Leia, while still a force user here, does not have the power to turn Kylo good, or do whatever she did in TROS that killed her (still don’t fully understand what it is she did). Enjoy!

The way Rey’s eyelids fluttered reminded Kylo Ren of the last time he’d watched her sleep. Then, she was his prisoner and she was strapped upright to a chair. Now, she was curled at his side and he felt strangely like the tables were turned.

He knew he should get back to his ship. Rey had met him with a plan to steal his security access code. This meant there was a mole high enough to know about the ship’s security measures. The Resistance would likely have teams in position to attempt to take over his ship, should she have acquired the codes. With him gone and a mole on the inside, they might not even need them. 

The idea of losing the Supremacy didn’t trouble him as much as it should. He blamed their force bond. It was humming blithely between them, so satisfied by their proximity nothing else seemed important. 

He also wasn’t especially offended by her deception. He had also concealed memories from her, in particular his recent trip to Exegol where he’d met with his grandfather’s former master. Rey didn’t need to know the most powerful force-user was back from the dead, or that he wanted Kylo to bring her to him in exchange for supplying the First Order with a deadly fleet of spaceships. Especially since that would never happen.

Rey stirred next to him and he couldn’t resist tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

Her eyes blinked open. She looked up at him, nonplussed, then her eyes regained their normal sharpness. She sat up slowly, holding the sheet to her chest.

“How did you know about the security system on the Supremacy?” he asked, not expecting her to answer or even caring if she told him the truth. That he had asked the question mattered more to him than her answer. 

She shifted away from him so none of her skin was in contact with his own.

“Oh, just a hunch,” she said, smoothing the sheets over her thighs.

“Who’s your informant within the First Order?”

“Give me the code and I’ll tell you.”

He didn’t deign to respond.

“What was your plan coming here, if not to locate the Resistance?” she asked.

“To convince you to turn.”

“How’s that working out for you?”

He reached around her to grab her thigh farthest from him and slid her body against him on the bed. His hand dragged down to her knee and pulled it across his lap so she was straddling him.

She scowled at being manhandled but did not resist him.

The skin-to-skin contact heightened their bond. He could feel her emotions and hear some of her louder thoughts. He had never experienced this kind of two-way connection before. Snoke had connected their minds, but only so he could monitor Kylo. He’d never be privy to Snoke’s thoughts.

“I think I’m making progress,” he murmured into her throat as he kissed her, roughly tugging away the sheet that had bunched at her hips.

“You don’t seriously believe that.”

His hand came to her breast, caressing the side and underneath with the pad of his thumb then his nail. He watched her shiver and his thumb lightly grazed her nipple. He was hardening against her and her hips moved to rub against him.

“I do.” He lightly pinched her nipple and she whimpered. “You’re mine.”

She met his eyes, her own fierce and defiant, and slowly shook her head.

_I’ll never be yours,_ she thought with conviction.

Anger slashed through him and he knew she felt it through their bond. But it wasn’t strong enough to overwhelm the need ricocheting between them. 

Rey ground her hips against him and Kylo inhaled sharply. She reached down, wrapping her fingers around his length and centering herself over it. She sank down onto him as a low groan reverberated through him.

Her fingers rested on his shoulders and her breasts brushed against his chest as she moved.

He resisted the urge to thrust and let her set the pace instead, his hand roving over her toned body. He focused on how her breath hastened and how she rolled her bottom lip between her teeth.

His hand fanned across her hip before moving over her stomach. He could feel her needs as if they were his own, which made teasing her difficult. His thumb found her clit and began circling it. She dug her nails into his shoulders.

He watched the smooth rhythm she’d set stutter out as she came apart on top of him. He reveled in the gasps that escaped her.

When her pace began to slow, he took over. His hands gripped her thighs as he lifted his hips. She whimpered then started meeting him thrust for thrust.

When he found his release, his hand found its way to her sweat-dampened face. He kissed her ravenously before wrapping his arms around her and sinking deeper into the bed. Her breathing evened out in sync with his own.

When Kylo awoke she was gone and with her, his lightsaber.

*****

It wasn’t until she left the planet’s atmosphere that Rey realized she didn’t have a plan or destination in mind.

Rey plugged in the coordinates for Ahch-To without much thought. Several minutes later she canceled the course shook her head with frustration.

Though she ached for the familiarity of the island where Luke trained her, it was risky. Ben Solo had also been trained there and if they force bonded, he might be able to track her down again. Going to a planet he had no connection to made more sense if preventing another encounter with Kylo Ren was her goal.

_And that is my goal,_ Rey told herself fiercely.

After consulting her ship’s maps, she decided on the planet Actlyon. She’d never been and hoped he hadn’t either.

She also knew Actlyon City would have medical offices. She needed to confirm there wouldn’t be any long terms effects from last night’s mistake.

_Or this morning’s,_ she thought, her cheeks flushing at the memory.

Her course laid in and her ship on autopilot, Rey’s mind began to wander.

The glimpse she got into Kylo Ren’s mind had been fascinating. It was so different than her own. When he was looking through her thoughts, she had been able to see what he saw. She had sensed how the light was threaded through each of her memories. There was no source for the light but it touched everything. Whereas in his mind, the darkness felt more like a cancer that was spreading. 

She pushed those thoughts from her mind.

Rey sent a brief transmission to Finn confirming what he must’ve already assumed, that she’d failed to get the codes. She then saw she had received a message just over an hour ago.

Poe appeared on her holopad, standing with his arms crossed.

“Rey. Leia asked me to contact you. We received new intel from our mole in the First Order. Somehow Palpatine has returned. His followers have been building a massive fleet on a world called Exegol and our mole believes Palpatine will provide the First Order with this fleet. It would mean the end of the Resistance, of any hope of change.”

His message continued to explain they were still scouting the area and determining weak points they could take advantage of. He ended with information on how she could contact Leia and that the general was expecting her to check in.

Rey was frozen with shock for several moments. The Sith she had only heard about through the whispers had felt more like a fabled monster than a real man. A man who could come back from the dead and inject even more power into the already indomitable First Order.

That was why Kylo hadn’t bothered destroying the Resistance’s camp. It had nothing to do with not wanting to abuse their force bonds. He knew he’d already won.

Scowling, Rey made a plan. Once she arrived on Actlyon she would focus on shutting out Kylo. She suspected with the right motivation she could do it. Then she would contact Leia and find out what she could do to help stop Palpatine. If she could go a week without a force bond, she would return to the Resistance. If they were going to be destroyed, she would be destroyed with them. 

*****

Kylo needed to get back to the Supremacy, confirm his fleet was still within his control, and determine who the mole was.

Instead of doing that, he plotted a course for Ahch-To.

He had no reason to go there but he didn’t care. Yesterday’s events simmered in his mind.

Rey would never turn to the dark side. Showing him her mind had been a failed ruse, but she’d still managed to demonstrate her point despite his desperation to prove her wrong.

He thought about Palpatine’s offer: In exchange for Rey, a fleet of ships large enough to effectively end the rebellion and any future rebellion for the next hundred years at least. Palpatine must have sensed Rey’s growing power and seen her as a threat he wanted to kill before she became too powerful. 

Not long ago, Kylo’s biggest fear had been failing at his mission to destroy the Jedi and losing his position as Supreme Leader. Palpatine was offering him the keys to secure his future. But he wasn’t even tempted.

On Ahch-To, he walked down the familiar huts surrounding the Jedi Temple, ignoring the caretakers who scurried away at the sight of him. Except for them, he was alone.

Kylo remembered his first time here. Luke had explained to him and the other Jedi students that the inhabitants who cleaned up after them and tended the grounds did so out of a great love for the island and the Jedi. But Kylo had immediately doubted it. It became clear within a few weeks that they feared the Jedi and their power. Luke chose to ignore it, attributing it to a cultural difference, but Kylo always saw them as slaves in all but name.

He had not meditated since he’d left this island. Calmness was crucial to Jedi training but Kylo had no use of it in the recent years. He considered it might help him now.

He walked to a bluff that looked over the ocean and sat down, his legs crossed.

Kylo meditated on the pull of the darkness that came from below the island. He could see the black, sticky vines that lived there. They reminded him of the dark tumor in his mind that he’d seen through Rey’s eyes.

His mind conjured images from his recent visit to Exegol, the black vines now intermixing with his memory of the tubes and wires connected to Palpatine, sustaining his decrepit form.

The Sith had told him he had been every voice Kylo had ever heard inside his head. Kylo searched inwardly. He focused on the voices in his head that had been there as long as he could remember. He remembered the familiar noise, egging him on when he killed for the first time.

It happened on this island after Luke tried to kill him. He’d gone to the other students there and told the boys what had happened. Some were angry, others looked frightened. The angry ones all joined him. The scared ones wouldn’t.

_They’re weak. Just like you._ The voice in his head had told him. _Kill your weakness._

It wasn’t as difficult as he expected, cutting them down. The other boys helped.

Once he’d killed for the first time, he was able to let go of the childish fear for his soul. It was done, it could not be undone. He was a killer.

The voice had purred praises in his mind for days afterwards.

*****

Rey returned to her ship after visiting an Actlyon City clinic. She’d had to endure a long lecture from the nurse on the importance of practicing safe sex before being told she was not pregnant nor had any infections. When the nurse recommended a birth control implant, Rey had been too mortified by the conversation to explain there would be no “next time”. Instead, she offered her left arm and then got out of there as fast as she could. 

Rey unpacked the supplies she’d bought in the city to tide her over for several weeks. She didn’t know how long it would take her to learn to block Kylo out.

When she could put it off no longer, she reached out to Leia. She kept her face neutral when the general answered her transmission.

The general greeted her warmly but wasted little time with pleasantries. She needed to know what had happened and what information Rey had obtained from Kylo Ren.

Rey was detailed in her description of the events leading up to their fight, describing the differences in their minds as best she could, hoping Leia would understand what it all meant. Hoping it didn’t mean Kylo was as irredeemable as Leia seemed to believe.

She glossed over the details of their fight and skipped everything that happened after, simply saying she disarmed him and left. Which was true, technically speaking. Her eyes flitted to the empty seat beside her where his lightsaber rested innocuously.

If Leia suspected she was misrepresenting the events, she did not let on. Instead she asked her to again describe the darkness Rey had seen in his mind.

Leia hesitated a moment before speaking.

“I sensed there was an outside force manipulating him when he was around 10 years old. He would go silent at odd times, as if he were listening to something I couldn’t hear. He would misbehave and when I asked him why, he’d tell me ‘He told me to’.”

“Who was telling him to?”

“Ben didn’t know at first then one day he said the name Snoke. But I always sensed it was Palpatine. Luke told me it couldn’t be true and Palpatine was dead. I ignored what the force was telling me for years because I was sure if it were true Luke would know.

“Worse still, I let my knowledge that something was wrong seep into my relationship with Ben. I grew to distrust him, distanced myself from him. And then I made the mistake entrusting him to Luke. Luke was so desperate for peace to continue…”

Leia’s eyes were full of pain.

“The mass of darkness I saw in his mind, do you think that it was Palpatine who put that there?” Rey asked.

Leia nodded.

“Do you – do you think he’s not in control of his actions? That everything he’s done has really been Palpatine?” Rey tried to keep her voice controlled and not betray any hope.

Leia looked at her sympathetically. “He’s been under Palpatine’s influence most of his life. But even a Sith can’t take away someone’s free will. His actions are his own.”

Rey swallowed the emotions threatening to bubble up to the surface. He was bad, evil even. He chose to kill all those people. She couldn’t forget that.

Leia paused before continuing. “Though, I think Palpatine must die, if there is to be any hope Ben could choose a different path.”

“What do you plan to do?” Rey asked.

“I plan to kill him.”

With those words, Leia’s face changed. Her eyes no longer shimmered with a heartsick mother’s pain, but were steely and sharp. Leia was a calculating general once again.

She explained to Rey that while the Exegol fleet appears to still be incomplete, there were enough ships to shoot down anything that enters the planet’s atmosphere. But Kylo Ren had been allowed entry. If they could obtain a First Order ship, they may be allowed through the blockade.

“If Palpatine is as powerful as you say, surely he’d sense it wasn’t Kylo approaching.”

Leia nodded reluctantly. “It is a gamble but it’s our only option. We cannot fight our way through to Palpatine.”

_It’s a suicide mission,_ Rey thought. But she kept this reflection to herself, confident she wouldn’t be telling the general anything she didn’t already know.

“Finn is working on how we’ll steal a ship. But so far, the plans are shaky. I understand you can’t come back to us yet, but – “

“I’ll keep my eyes open for any opportunities to help. Who knows, maybe a First Order ship will just happen to land here and I can steal it.”

Leia smiled. “We could use that kind of luck. Take care of yourself, Rey.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI there'll be 2 more chapters after this one and an epilogue. 
> 
> This is my first fic I've been brave enough to post so thank you for the kudos and the comments! They really keep me motivated :D

Kylo stood outside the Jedi temple, staring at it as if it were some puzzle he could solve.

He was considering burning it down. He imagined the structure engulfed by flames and he could feel the heat against his face. But he didn’t want to frighten the caretakers.

He could go inside, rip out all the sacred texts filled with lies and manipulations and throw them into the ocean. But even the thought of stepping inside repulsed him. It was as if the temple repelled those with ill-intent.

There was something oddly pleasing about inaction. He could stay here. Not _here_ exactly, not on Ahch-To. He could feel the caretakers were already desperate for him to leave. But there were other places he could go far enough from everything he’d wrought where he could disappear. Maybe he’d even give Rey those security codes she’d wanted. Let her deal with the mess he’d made. Maybe that would be enough and he wouldn’t have to worry about guilt finally finding him in the stillness.

But hiding was what Luke Skywalker did. He would not be like Luke.

Something shimmered in his periphery. Kylo glanced over his shoulder and felt his blood pressure rise.

He regarded at the translucent figure beside him coldly. “Why are you here?”

Luke smiled. “I was going to talk you out of burning this place to the ground, but it looks like I don’t need to.”

Kylo almost retorted, something about how he always saw the worst in him, but a thought stilled him. For years he’d heard the voice of Darth Vader. But he’d never seen his grandfather.

“Does a Sith have this ability? To appear or communicate with someone on this plane of existence once they’re dead?” he asked. 

“No,” Luke said simply.

Kylo looked back at the temple, ignoring his uncle’s presence. He thought about Palpatine. The emperor had told him the truth. He’d never actually heard his grandfather. It was all just a manipulation. Kylo was too familiar with betrayal to be truly stung by it.

“There’s no undoing the things I’ve done.”

“That’s true,” Luke replied.

“So, there’s no point trying.”

“Undoing would require some sort of magic I certainly haven’t discovered. But that’s not what you’re considering.

“To undo a mistake would be a quick, binary thing. One moment the damage is done, another moment it is undone. Atonement, however, is a slow, grueling process. And maybe it never ends. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.”

Kylo doesn’t want to discuss this anymore. If he’s going to philosophize on the merits of redemption with anyone, it won’t be the uncle who tried to kill him in his sleep.

He turns on his heel and walks back to where he was meditating earlier, not sparing a glance to the ghosts behind him.

Hours later, Kylo felt a tug interrupting his meditation. He sighed. He’d come to this island for solitude. He rotated so his back was to the ocean and Rey appeared before him.

Her legs were also crossed in meditation but she had been fussing with something on her left forearm. She startled when she saw him and hastily rolled down her sleeve, cursing.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. 

“Why can’t I keep you out?” she said, glowering at him.

“Because you don’t want to.”

She continued to glare at him.

“Or the force doesn’t want you to,” he amended.

“Were you meditating? You look like you’re sitting on a rock. Where are you?” Rey’s brow crinkled in confusion.

“I’m not telling you anything. You _stole_ from me.”

The corners of Rey’s mouth twitched, but she repressed the smirk. Then her expression changed, as if something just occurred to her.

“How did you get past the fleet guarding Exegol?”

Kylo tried not to let his surprise show. “Why do you ask?”

She didn’t respond.

Kylo sighed again. “I was invited.”

“Why did Palpatine invite you?”

It occurred to Kylo then that he knew who the mole was. Only one person knew about both the anti-mutiny security system and the fleet in Exegol. Hux was full of surprises.

Kylo considered lying to her before he thought better of it. “Palpatine wanted me to bring you to him. In exchange, he would give me the fleet he’d been building.”

Rey didn’t ask why he hadn’t brought her to Palpatine yet. She knew why.

The girl was silent for several moments before she met his eyes again. “You’re going to do it.”

“What?”

“You’re going to bring me to Palpatine.”

*****

Their force bond ended before Kylo had answered her, but it didn’t matter. Rey knew he was on Ahch-To. It was unclear to her how much of that knowing came from recognizing the rock he sat on and how much came from the force always pulling her in his direction, as if he were her true north.

Trying to block him out wasn’t the solution. He was the only way anyone from the resistance would be able to penetrate the blockade. 

Rey plotted a course to Ahch-To and tried to calm her nerves enough to think of a plan.

She doubted she could stop Palpatine on her own. From what she’d heard, he was the most powerful force user who ever lived. And if Darth Vader couldn’t kill him, she feared she didn’t stand a chance.

She didn’t trust Kylo Ren enough to count on him helping her.

She remembered Leia’s words, _I plan to kill him_. Rey knew the general meant it. 

Leia didn’t answer her transmission, but Rey left her a message.

Rey’s fingers twitched with nervous energy. The ship on autopilot, she stood and began pacing. The Supreme Leader’s lightsaber caught her eye and she picked it up. She held it up by her shoulder before igniting it. In the split second between pressing the button and the lightsaber igniting, she realized her mistake. One of the smaller blades at the hilt went into her shoulder.

Rey cursed, dropping the saber.

“Stupid, stupid,” she hissed to herself before investigating her injury.

There was no blood, the lightsaber had cauterized the wound. Rey took a few steadying breaths to calm herself. She’s not sure what made her call to the force, but at that moment it felt like the right thing to do.

Breathing through the pain, Rey closed her eyes and imagined the hole in her arm closing in on itself, the skin knitting back together, the veins and muscle tissue reconnecting. Rey inhaled deeply and felt the pain lessening. She thought she was just overcoming the pain, using mind over matter, but when she opened her eyes and looked at her wound, it was healed.

“Didn’t know I could do that,” she murmured.

*****

Kylo felt her before he saw her. He was preparing his ship to leave and planned to do just that as soon as he figured out where he would go.

He watched Rey disembark, vexed by how the sight of her brought him more peace than hours of meditating did.

“I’m not taking you to Palpatine,” he said, when she reached him. 

Rey raised her eyebrow, unconvinced.

“Rey, he wants to kill you.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“Not exactly.”

Rey shrugged. “I burned my shoulder on your ridiculous lightsaber.”

“Serves you right,” Kylo muttered without feeling. He looked at hole burned into the fabric of her sleeve. His fingers gently pushed it aside to see unmarked skin.

“How-”

“I healed it. And I want to try something with you.” Rey stepped closer to him and rested her fingers on the side of his face. She closed her eyes.

The sensation Kylo felt was similar to when she’d entered his mind. Her eyes were closed but he saw the images in her mind as she healed his scar, using the force to pull away the red scar tissue and replace it with skin she was tenderly manipulating. When the scar was healed, she shifted her focus to the black mass in his mind.

It took effort, he could feel her strain. Rey’s life force pressed against the mass of darkness as it twisted and jolted as if it were resisting the invasion. But slowly she broke it down, dissolving it to nothing. The darkness was still intermixed with his memories, but its source was gone. 

Kylo felt her losing consciousness and caught her before she fell. She was unharmed, he felt, just exhausted. He carried her into his ship and placed her in his bed.

As he watched her sleep, the gravity of what she’d done sank in. Whatever that thing was in his mind, it was what connected him to Palpatine. And now he was free of it.

Kylo didn’t feel especially changed. But he knew the voices would stop after today and that was a calming thought.

His liberator stirred several hours later, just as Kylo was sensing an incoming ship.

Rey rubbed her eyes and sat up. “How are you feel-“

“Why is my mother coming to Ahch-To?”

Rey grinned. “She’s coming with us to Exegol.”

*****

Rey’s head ached, but she was otherwise recovered from healing Kylo.

She stood outside one of the huts, eyes scanning the sky for Leia’s ship. Kylo could sense Leia but she and Rey weren’t connected in that way. Rey hadn’t been sure the general would meet her on Ahch-To when she’d left her the message but now her heart was swelling with hope.

Kylo stood next to her. Rey didn’t know if what she’d done in his mind had any real impact. Based on the surly expression on his face now, it seemed unlikely. Rey supposed he would have agreed to take them to Exegol regardless of his allegiance given he knew she could overpower him, if needed. He would have felt her resolve through their bond; they were going to Exegol on his ship whether he came willingly or not. 

Despite all the promises she’d made to herself about remembering who he was, she still observed him from the corner of her eye, wondering if it was Ben Solo or Kylo Ren standing next to her.

Half an hour later, Leia arrived. She’d come alone.

“Hello, Rey. Ben. It’s good to see you.”

Her son stood stock still and Rey could see the indecision flickering across his eyes. Then he exhaled.

“Hello, mother,” he said resignedly. 

And with that he turned and lead them to his ship. There was no more discussion. They had a mission to complete.


	5. Chapter 5

The trip to Exegol was uneventful. Kylo stayed in the cockpit while Leia and Rey strategized as if the Supreme Leader of the First Order weren’t within earshot.

He didn’t know why he was helping them. He didn’t know why the sound of his mother calling him Ben had made him feel like breaking down. He didn’t know why Luke’s words about the slow, grueling process of atonement were ringing in his ears.

All he knew was he no longer wanted what he had. The First Order repulsed him. Ruling the galaxy seemed like a fool’s quest. And all the lives he’d taken felt like weights around his will, dragging him further from the direction he wanted to go. While he could run away from it all, he knew that was the coward’s way out.

Neither Ben Solo nor Kylo Ren had ever run away from a battle.

When the blockade came into view, Kylo took a deep breath. He was bringing Rey to Palpatine, the Sith would be able to sense that. He would also sense Leia with them. Kylo hoped her presence wouldn’t cause problems for them.

Kylo felt Rey rise to stand behind his chair as they approached, staring at the unending line of ships in awe.

“Who built all this?” she asked.

“The Sith still have a startling number of loyalists.”

Rey released a shaky breath as the First Order ship sailed past the Sith fleet without incident.

They landed on Exegol near the laboratory where Kylo had found the emperor. 

“I’ll need my lightsaber back now,” Kylo said, an accusation in his eyes as he looked to Rey.

She unclipped a second saber from her hip and handed it to him, their fingers brushing with the exchange.

“This isn’t my lightsaber.”

Rey shrugged. “I left yours on my ship. I’ll give it back if we survive this.”

They disembarked the ship and Kylo started to lead them to where he’d met Palpatine last, but stopped when he heard chanting in the distance.

“What is that?” Rey asked.

“I don’t know,” he said.

Leia took a step forward, her blaster at the ready. “Let’s find out.”

The chanting led them to a massive stone amphitheater filled with cloaked figures Kylo couldn’t make out in the dark, even when lightning flashed. An imposing throne stood in the center, made of black stone and surrounded by spikes. Kylo suppressed the swell of unease in his chest at the sight of it.

Palpatine emerged. A massive metal arm allowed him to move with all the wires and tubes connected to him. His black hood obscured his milky eyes but not the cruel smile on his lips. The chanting got louder.

“My boy, you’ve returned to me. And you brought the girl. Good.”

“He didn’t bring Rey as an offering, Palpatine. We’re here to stop you.”

Palpatine turned his head towards Leia and gave a low, throaty laugh.

“How ironic that you brought the only other remaining Skywalker. Like the scavenger she was tucked away as a child, hidden from my reach. Years ago, she would have been a powerful asset to me. But I’m afraid today, I have no use of her.”

With the raise of Palpatine’s wrist, Leia was lifted into the air and thrown back thirty feet before she disappeared into a fissure in the ground.

Kylo wanted run to her but his Jedi instincts took over. Both he and Rey drew their sabers, and advanced towards Palpatine.

Movement in his periphery forced Kylo to turn his gaze. The red guard emerged from the shadows, armed with blasters. Kylo and Rey both turned, their backs pressed together.

There were six men in red. Kylo blocked the first blaster shot with a twist of his saber. He used the force to turn a guard’s gun towards another guard just as the first guard fired. He continued deflecting blaster shots, not wanting to advance on the guard yet and leave Rey’s back unprotected.

Kylo deflected another blaster shot back at the guard who discharged it and he crumpled. He could see in his periphery two other guards lay broken on the ground closer to Rey. There were two left. Rey advanced on her target and Kylo mirrored her.

With a swipe of his lightsaber the guard in front of him was dead. A moment later, the thud behind him confirmed the last of the Red Guard had fallen.

Together, Rey and Kylo turned to face Palpatine.

*****

Rey tried to steady her breathing. She tried not to think about Leia, who was either dead or seriously injured. Rage boiled under her skin. They needed to kill Palpatine. It was the only way.

“Very impressive,” The emperor said. “I knew a Dyad in the force would be capable of great feats. It is a powerful thing to witness.”

Rey’s confusion must have shown on her face because the emperor explained.

“Two that are one.” The Sith smiled ominously. “A Dyad has been unseen for generations. A power like life itself.”

With a flick of his wrists, the lightsabers flew from both her and Kylo’s hands and the Dyad dropped to their knees.

“I have brought you here for a reason. The life force of your bond holds the power to restore the one true emperor!”

Palpatine raised his hands and Rey felt a sharp pain in her chest. It was as though he had torn her open and was ripping out the energy within her.

Blue light connected the center of her chest to the Emperor’s fingers. Fingers that had been broken and decayed and were now regenerating.

Suddenly, Rey noticed a figure approaching from Palpatine’s left.

Leia opened her hand and Rey’s lightsaber flew into it. The blue light of the blade illuminated the general’s determined expression as she raised the saber above her head. The emperor, mesmerized by the rejuvenating energy coursing through his body, took notice of her a moment too late.

With one fluid motion Leia brought the blade down, slicing through Palpatine’s wrists.

The draining of Rey and Kylo’s life force stopped suddenly and they fell forward. Rey took a ragged breath, her eyes rising to take in the scene before her.

The emperor howled in pain. His arms quivered with effort has he lifted them towards his attacker. Sparks flew out of his wrists before a flash of lightning charged towards Leia at the same moment she plunged the lightsaber into his chest.

Rey watched in horror as the lightning struck Leia, coursing through the line of her arms before colliding with Palpatine through the lightsaber. There was a flash of white light. 

Both fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You better believe I said all of Palpatine’s lines aloud in his voice to make sure they were in character.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before the epilogue...

Leia, always so stubborn, didn’t give Kylo or Rey a chance to use their life force to save her. Her body disappeared as she became one with the force just as they dropped to their knees beside her.

While Rey openly wept over the place Leia had laid, the grief wouldn’t collide with Kylo until many days later. At which point he would curse himself for not apologizing to his mother on the flight to Exegol. For not promising her he had changed and that he would dedicate the rest of his life to atoning for his mistakes.

But in the days following his mother’s death, Kylo was numb. Rey handled coordination efforts with the Resistance. Their forces were able to take control of the fleet on Exegol. Once the First Order was effectively eliminated, the Resistance planned to destroy the fleet.

Knowing first-hand the way power can corrupt, Kylo felt uneasy about the Resistance taking a fleet with such devastating capacity for destruction. He only chose to trust them because it was easier than trying to fight it. Maybe they would protect the galaxy like they assured everyone. It mattered little to him at this point.

Kylo gave Rey the security codes for the Supremacy and the Resistance’s overthrow of the regime went smoothly from then on.

A month after his mother’s death, the military tribunals began.

Poe Dameron led the group who would decide a war criminal like Kylo Ren’s punishment. Even with his fate in the man’s hands, Kylo didn’t feel particularly remorseful about torturing him.

That thought amused Rey, he could feel, despite her anxiety over the trial.

The connection between them had continued to grow since Palpatine’s death. Kylo now clearly heard Rey’s thoughts whenever she was within a few miles of him. He could sense her emotions even when she was halfway across the galaxy. It should have been intrusive and overwhelming but instead their thoughts flowed in a symbiotic rhythm that was mostly inconspicuous unless one of them was feeling an emotion very strongly. If he were being honest with himself, Kylo found the constant companionship of Rey’s psyche reassuring.

Rey was nearby now. She had just testified on his behalf, explaining the things he’d done for the Resistance and his role in Palpatine’s death.

Kylo himself spoke very little during his trial. The most words he said were on the first day of the trial when they ran down a very long list of his crimes and he acknowledged them one-by-one. There was one group of civilians he was accused of slaughtering several years ago and he had to correct Dameron that that particular incident had been Snoke, not him. But beyond that, Kylo offered no arguments, defenses or excuses.

The trial lasted two weeks. Kylo knew Dameron wanted him executed. He could see it in the man’s eyes. But the others must have tempered his bloodthirst because he was only exiled. He was even allowed to pick from several locations for his exile. It was absurd.

That was how the former Supreme Leader ended up living on Naboo, in a small house near the ocean that his mother had inherited from her mother. He would be under house arrest for the next five years. If there were no incidents, he would only have to check in monthly to confirm he remained on Naboo and was following their long list of restrictions on his activity.

When people asked him his name now, he tells them it’s Ren. There was no going back to Ben Solo, he wasn’t that person anymore. Completely divesting himself of Kylo Ren also felt incongruous with the man he had become. Rey liked the name Ren, he felt it through their bond when he first tried it out.

The past wasn’t something he could let go of yet. But he could pick up the fragments of who he used to be and keep trudging forward.

*****

After the trial and Ren’s exile, Rey kept her distance from him.

With Leia gone, there was a huge void in Resistance leadership. Rey, Finn, Rose and Poe did their best to fill it. Rey buried herself in her work and spent all her free time reading about the Republic and Palpatine’s rise to power. She would do everything she could to ensure the New Republic didn’t make the same mistakes.

Rey tried to remain dispassionate in her studies but reliving the horrors of the past raised difficult emotions in her. How could anyone who caused so much death and destruction ever be forgiven? Wouldn’t it be a betrayal to those they’ve hurt?

She didn’t want to be near Ren and have him hear these thoughts.

Rey didn’t ignore or suppress the part of herself that was always aware of Ren’s feelings and emotions. When she felt waves of guilt and self-loathing, she would push back thoughts of peace and forgiveness. When one night, the self-flagellation coming through their bond was too much to take, Rey connected their minds for the first time in weeks.

Their force bonds were now completely within their control which meant no more unexpected appearances from either of them at inopportune moments. Ren had stopped initiating them completely once he was exiled. Rey had hoped he couldn’t feel her relief, but she knew he could.

Ren was outside on a small patio that overlooked a garden behind the house. He was sitting on one of three concrete benches in front of a firepit, staring into the flames with his brow furrowed. 

He glanced up and saw Rey, surprise flitting across his features.

Rey’s mouth went dry. She’d forgotten the affect being under the gaze of his dark eyes had on her. It’d been eight weeks since she’d last seen his face. His inky black hair fell a few inches further down his neck than she remembered.

“Rey.”

“Hi Ren. You seemed down.”

He offered her a half smile. “I’m sorry, I’ll try to rein in my emotions. I know the strong ones can be distracting.”

“I don’t want you to rein in anything for me. I just thought you might want to talk about it.” Rey gingerly sat down on the bench across from him, his surroundings now solid in her purview.

He was silent for a while, watching the flames.

“Sometimes, the guilt just…overwhelms me,” he said, his voice low.

“You have to forgive yourself.”

“Why? Guilt is nothing compared to the suffering I’ve caused.”

“Guilt, shame, they’re useless emotions. You’ve done everything in your power to fix the mistakes of your past. Victims of your actions chose your punishment and now you’re here. Continuing to torture yourself…isn’t productive.”

Ren didn’t say anything. He didn’t point out how her words were at odd with her actions. That she had been avoiding him since Palpatine’s fall and she was torn between the forgiveness she’d always espoused and continuing to hate him with the permanency of the deaths he’d caused. Instead he focused on the flames flickering between them.

But Rey knew he was conscious of the conflict within her because it wasn’t just hers. The demarcation of their minds was nearly nonexistent now.

 _I miss you,_ he thought.

 _I know._


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you team unsatisfying/ambiguous ending or smutty epilogue? If the former, maybe stop here.

Three years after the rebellion ended, Rey was invited to a summit in Naboo. She told herself she could go and not succumb to seeing him. 

But after hours of talking to politicians, ambassadors and other dignitaries, her self-control waned.

It was late when she reached the small house by the ocean. There was only one guard outside, looking painfully bored. She considered a quick swipe of the force to convince him he never saw her and strolling right through the front door. But sneaking in would be just as easy and a little more fun.

The back door to the kitchen had only a deadbolt securing it. A quick flick of the force and she was inside.

She crept silently up the stairs and found him, deep asleep. A tension she hadn’t been conscious of eased out of her shoulders. She wasn’t sure how she’d been able to go years without the sense of peace that overcame her when they were together.

She hadn’t seen his face since she’d force bonded with him that night nearly three years ago. Tears welled in her eyes as she took in the soft lines of his face, relaxed in sleep.

She hated the things he’d done. They were unforgivable. But she couldn’t hate him, no matter how much she wanted to. No matter how much easier it would make everything. She knew him as well as she knew herself. She could see all the ways he’d been shattered throughout his life and how he’d rebuilt himself each time. She loved the person he’d become, cracks and all.

Rey slipped off her shoes and padded quietly over to the side of the bed. She slipped under the covers, careful not to disturb him. He didn’t wake, but unconsciously wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. Rey’s eyelids grew heavy and she fell into a deep sleep.

She awoke at first light to soft lips pressing urgently against the curve of her neck. Hands, searing hot, roved impatiently over her body.

“Are you really here?” he murmured into the back of her shoulder.

“I’m really here,” she breathed, pressing her body back against his chest.

Fabric was ripped off her in quick, rough motions. His arm encaged her, his forearm against her collarbones and his hand wrapped insistently around her shoulder, pulling her tight against his chest. 

His hand slid down the underside of her thigh, pressing her knee up. She gasped as he entered her and everything was suddenly too good, too hot, too much.

The tight control he’d always maintained when he was with her had shattered. She cried out as he came.

He pulled her closer, almost too tightly, as his ragged breathing slowed.

He slid his hand under her thigh again, finding her center. His caressed her damp folds causing her to squirm against his restraining hold. His fingers found the spot at her core that elicited a moan from her and he circled it gently, only increasing the pressure when she whimpered and pressed herself closer to his hand.

His ministrations wrung soft, desperate pleas from her lips. Her fingers dug into the pillow, twisting it as the pressure mounted.

After she finished Rey rolled over, her eyes hungrily taking him in. The reverent look in his eyes was her undoing.

They didn’t need to speak, but she’d missed the sound of his voice so she verbalized the thought he’d already heard through their connection.

“Ask me to stay.”

“No.” He took her hand and kissed her fingers before continuing. “I hold onto enough regret for the both of us. I don’t want to be the source of any of that for you. I want you to live the life you want.”

Rey scowled but curled closer to him.

“Besides, you never did give me back my lightsaber. That’s not something I can forgive.”

Rey laughed, remembering the broken promise he had never wanted her to keep. She felt Ren smile into her hair.

The problem was Rey wasn’t sure what life she wanted. The dust was settling on the rebellion. A majority of the Federation planets had representatives in the New Republic. Rey’s input had been highly valued during the first couple years of planning and she had traveled extensively meeting with leaders and attending summits. But now the decision-making power belonged to the representatives. Her role in this new world was becoming more nebulous and less pertinent.

Her aspirations to contribute something meaningful twisted in her gut, unfulfilled. 

Settling down in one place could allow her to make a difference locally. Maybe she could work her way up to a senator here on Naboo.

Ren was trying to ignore her thoughts, impossible in this close of proximity, but Rey felt his jolt of delight at her musings. He immediately tried to repress it.

Rey smiled against his chest; a decision made.

The new world they were building would never be perfect - Rey would be foolish to expect that. But working towards a happier, freer world would always be worthwhile.

She couldn’t change the past. But she could look forward and she could take happiness wherever she found it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!
> 
> I thought one of the weaknesses of TROS was the abruptness of Kylo Ren turning "good" so it was really fun for me to develop that more and deal with the messiness of redemption. I hope you enjoyed it!


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